While enjoying a very wholesome hangover day after a fun (alcohol) filled weekend, I was scrolling through my Instagram feed and stumbled across the inspiring words of Rupi Kaur (best-selling poet, artist and general legendary queen) about the impact of social media on our mental health.
She articulates such a well-known feeling that I stumble into all too easily, especially after an unproductive hangover day. Here is what she says:
you scroll through a feed where a never ending list of bright smiling faces share their daily accomplishments and all the wonderful things they’re up to. suddenly you feel even more defeated. it seems you are the only one experiencing the darkness. the sadness. the loneliness.
that’s the thing about social media. it gives us a space to carve a reality of ourselves by selectively choosing what we want people to see. so we share the good. the funny. the sexy. the inspiring. but rarely the ugly. the lonely. or confused.
believe me. someone’s profile could look like the most perfect thing- but no one’s life comes close to perfect.
Our social media behaviour reflects a compelling desire to show our best selves. Much like how we cry in private or to a close friend, we are equally afraid to show any vulnerability online. But what we forget when we scroll through facebook or snapchat, while tapping into the snippets of other people's lives, some that we barely know, is that those vulnerable moments do still exist.
They make us who we are and we learn so much from them. So even if someone has a seemingly perfect life online, its so important to not let that eat away at your own self-belief and value. For all we know, Kim Kardashian is having a really hard time behind the scenes?! All speculation of course but the point stands the same; no amount of material possessions can protect you from the real human emotions like anxiety, jealousy, or loneliness.
My favourite quote pinpoints this directly; "trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over one's body" (Shout out to Roger J. Corless and Vision of Buddhism: The space under the tree - get that on the reading list).
Happiness is not an unbreakable force field that we can create around ourselves, even though we are tempted to think its possible as we approach 60+ likes on an Instagram post. This rush of dopamine is called a rush for a reason, it is short lived.
The solution to this type of subconscious comparison with those online is probably to spend less time invested in looking. Easier said than done, but if it is really affecting your happiness then it needs working on. A great book or writing a blog (lol) might be a good start.
P.s It does seem ironic to post an instagram link at the end of this but seeing as going cold turkey is unlikely anyway - Rupi Kaur's account is raw, relatable and comforting, it will only serve to lift you up.
(https://www.instagram.com/rupikaur_/?hl=en)
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